How to make an American turncoat
by Mascalzone Latino
Summary: La Résistance gets one up on the Dudleys yet again ...


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A/N: All WWE superstars mentioned in this work of fiction are owned by Vince McMahon. I am writing this purely for pleasure, not profit. If you sue me, you won't get a lot. No copyright infringement is intended. I know this took place two weeks ago but we are that far behind in WWE programming in my country and I only saw this at about 2.15 this morning. Written in René Dupree's POV.

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How to make an American turncoat

We are in the ring, Sylvan holding the Tricolour, myself armed with a microphone, the tag team belts resting around our waists. Just last week, we humiliated the Dudley Boyz, hitting them with the American flag, spitting and pouring French wine on them before finally draping the American flag over them. It was something the crowd wouldn't forget, which, of course, was our intention. The world tag team champions we may be, stupid we're not.

"Last week, you people witnessed the death of one of the most dominant tag teams in WWE history - the Dudley Boyz - courtesy of the world tag team champions, La Résistance. But, in their honour, we would like to have a moment of silence." As I said that, Sylvan nodded his head and patted his tag team belt, reminding the crowd that two Frenchmen were the world tag team champions; that we were superior to them. He held a finger to his lips, indicating that the crowd should be silent.

We bowed our heads for the moment of silence but the crowd continued to chant "USA! USA!" What is wrong with these people? Do they not even know the name of their own country? We looked around us and I glanced at the Titantron, where a shot of the Dudleys draped in the American flag from the previous week was being shown before handing the microphone to Sylvan, making a motion towards where a watch would be sitting on my wrist, indicating that we'd had more than a moment's silence for the Dudleys. Afterwards, Sylvan began to speak.

"And this Sunday, at SummerSlam we will bury the Dudley Boyz once again."

While Sylvan was talking, I noticed an American serviceman in the crowd. I smirked, nudging Sylvan again before looking from the serviceman to my tag team partner. It took a little while for me to gain Sylvan's attention but I said something that brought a smile to the face of my tag team partner.

As we moved to leave the ring, Sylvan came out with "Look at this G I Joe here!" We stood in front of the serviceman, looking him up and down.

"Sexy uniform." Sylvan remarks. I know that he really didn't mean that. "Do you fight for the military?"

The serviceman nods and says that, yes he does fight for the military. It's a little obvious when he comes to Raw wearing his uniform, don't you think?

"Tell me, how many innocent people did you kill last year?" A simple question yet the serviceman, and the crowd, react in disgust. Of course, they're not killers of innocent people. Whatever gave me that idea?

"Come on. It's just a joke. We're French. We're not violent." As Sylvan said that, we moved back towards the ring a little before moving back towards the serviceman. "Be a class act. Shake her hand."

I held out my hand for the serviceman to shake and, just as he moved his hand to clasp mine, I moved mine out of harm's way, laughing and pointing at the serviceman. Sylvan laughs and points at him too. We're just having a little fun - why can't the crowd loosen up and see that for themselves?

"Come on, we just want to have some fun!"

Sylvan repeats what he said a few seconds earlier and I pushed the serviceman on his shoulder. He reacts by wanting to climb over the ring barrier and thump us but he's thwarted by the security guard on our side. We continued to egg him on, making his temper flare up until I turned around and saw that the Dudleys were heading in our direction, armed with the American flag. I took off around one side of the ring and Sylvan took off around the other, waiting until we reached the ramp before removing our robes and berets. We continued to hurl abuse at them with the knowledge that the ring was between us and them.

The Dudleys get the crowd to chant "USA! USA!" and some of the crowd near us hurl abuse at us - I suppose if we can give it, we can take it. The Dudleys look at us and Sylvan asks them if they want to fight. Of course they want to fight, but first, they want to honour the serviceman.

They ask him to enter the ring with them and he does so, the Dudleys ignoring the security guard who tells them not to let him in. The "USA! USA!" chant begins again and the serviceman gets in the ring, jumping up and down like a little kid at Christmas time.

We watch from the safety of the ramp as the Dudleys thank the serviceman for fighting for their pathetic excuse of a country on behalf on everyone in the arena and he salutes the American flag - I refuse to call it Old Glory.

The Dudleys give him the flag to wave proudly which he does for a few seconds before bringing it down, a sly look on his face indicating that he's got an idea.

He turns the American flag on Bubba before turning it on D-Von and we walk back towards the ring, as he continues to hit the Dudleys with their precious flag. He drops the flag and removes his shirt, proceeding to choke Bubba with it while Sylvan and I gave D-Von a flapjack. I laughed as he writhed in pain and Bubba was released from the choke only to be given a flapjack himself. I posed as the serviceman ripped the American flag off the pole and held my fists in the air as he did what Sylvan told him to do and that was to drape the flag over the fallen Dudleys.

He gets the Tricolour from outside the ring and Sylvan pats him on the back as he re-enters. I smile again and the three of us celebrate over the fallen Dudleys, the serviceman adding insult to injury by spitting on the American flag. We hurl abuse at the Dudleys, knowing that they couldn't do anything to retaliate.

How do you make an American turncoat? Simple.

Ask us. The world tag team champions. But if you're American, we won't tell you. At all.


End file.
